Pitik

Papunta ako sa UP-PGH para samahan si Mama at Papa. Bago ako umalis ng bahay, walang naging problema. Sa kalagitnaan ng kahabaan ng Coastal Road, tumawag ang isa sa kasambahay at sinabing apat na beses ng sumuka na ang aking prinsesa. Natakot ako sapagkat naisip kong wala silang kasama sa bahay at naisip ko bakit kung kalian nakaalis na ako. Walang pagdadalawang-isip, bumaba ako sa alanganing lugar para bumalik ng bahay. Para ako mapapraning sa kakaisip anong nangyari. Habang nakasakay sa bus walang tigil akong tumatawag sa kasambahay para kamustahin ang aking prinsesa. Nanghihina ako nang sabihin sa akin na nanghihina at namumutla na siya. Wala akong magawa habang nasa daan kundi ang magdasal at magturo kung paano ba ang dapat gawain. Halos bumagsak ang mundo ko sa takot dahil wala akong magawa. Nang makababa ako sa kanto ng aming subdibisyon, nakiusap ako sa mga tricycle driver para maihatid kame sa ospital. Walang pumayag. Tumutulo na lamang ang luha ko habang karga at tinatakbo ko ang prinsesa kong putlang putla at hinang hina na. Nauwi kame sa pagsakay ng dyip. Gusto kong sigawan ang drayber na halos lahat ng kanto ay tumitigil para magsakay ng pasahero. Trapik! Gusto ko ng lumipad papunta ng opsital.

Nang makarating na kame sa ospital, nabigyan naman nang unang lapat ang aking prinsesa. Nakaluwag na din ako ng hininga kahit papaano dahil alam kong may mas nakaalam na sa dapat na gawin sa aking prinsesa. Mabusisi ang pagtatanong sa nakain. Ang tangi naalala ko lamang ay ang sandwich spread at tinapay na halos tatlong kagat lamang ang nabawas. Noong nagdesisyon na akong ipa-admit siya sa ospital, tahimik na luha lamang ang tumulo sa aking mukha sapagkat hindi ko maaaring ipakita sa aking prinsesa na mahina ako. Matapang siya, hindi siya umiyak sa dextrose, ngunit nang kukunan na siya ng dugo halos sigawan ko ang nurse dahil ang mailing ulit niyang itinusok ang karayom sa manipis n braso ng aking prinsesa. Umalingawngaw ang iyak sa napakasakit na tusok na natamo nag aking prinsesa. Nang maiakyat na kame sa aming kwarto, nakapagpahinga na ang aking prinsesa at pakiwari ko sa kanyang kilos ay walang nangyari. Sa ‘twing may papasok n nakaputi halos mapunit ang damit ko sa paghila ng prinsesa ko sa takot na syay tutusuking muli. Awa ang nararamdaman ko na kung maaari lamang na ibigay na sa akin ang lahat nang sakit na nararamdaman nya kahit doble pa ay tatanggapin ko, wag lang sya ang masasaktan.

Sa dami ng mga eksaminsyon na ginawa, walang nakitang problema. Ang tanging nasabi ay hindi natunawan sa hindi matukoy na pagkain. Nang payagan na kaming makalabas, hindi ako tumigil. Dumeretso kami sa magtatawas na kakilala naming. Hindi ako nagsambit na mayroon akong pinaghihinalaan na “nakabati” sa kaniya.  Nang matapos ang pagtutunaw ng kandila, sinabi ng magtatawas na may “nakabati” sa kaniya na isang matabang babae abot-balikat ang buhok at hindi mawari kung buntis dahil malaki ang tiyan. Halos bumagsak ako sa kinakauupuan kong nang tumugma ang hitsura ng babaeng tinutukoy ng “tawas” sa taong naiisip kong posibleng “nakabati” sa kaniya. Kung alam ko lamang na isang laway lang ang katapat, ay hindi ko na sana hinayaang masaktan ang aking prinsesa ng paulit-ulit hanggang magkaroon ng trauma sa mga nurse. Pero naisip ko na tama na lang din para makasiguro na wala nga talagang problema sa kaniyang kalusugan.

Bago matulog naisip ko ano ang gustong iparating na mensahe sa atin. Simple lamang. Mahalin natin nang parang walang bukas ang mga mahal natin su buhay. Ipakita at sabihin kung gaano sila ka importante at gaano natin sila kamahal dahil sa isang pitik Niya lamang, maaring mawala sa atin ng parang bula ang mga importanteng bagay sa buhay natin. 

Reality Bites

     The first time I've been to UPM-PGH was a memorable one. I first went to the 6th floor where the Cardiology area is located. I can't believe what my eyes were seeing. You can see patients lying on their hospitals beds on the hallway. At first, I thought these patients were waiting for their turns to the Angiography section. I was wrong. The wards were full. I then went to Trauma ward 13 where my father was supposed to be admitted. While talking to the head nurse, a lady approached the h.n., gave a pineapple. A simple token for taking care of her husband who tried to commit a suicide by shooting himself with a gun on his forehead. Luckily, he will go home now, it's not yet his time. The "scheduler" hasn't arrived. As we continue with our conversation, another patient came in. It stopped in front of me. It almost break my heart to see this gay whose face was almost crashed after he was beaten up by some furious guy. Unluckily, he had severe brain damage which caused him to lose all his memories.
     After my 6,000 steps, I went to the Division of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery. Beside is the pediatric surgery where children with cleft palate were waiting. I feel sorry for this kids who needs to undergo such painful surgery at such an early age. I almost got teary-eyed when I saw one kid  who keeps on smiling and laughing as if everything's alright. After getting the quotation from the surgeon, I went to the billing department. Hundreds were asking for assistance from the medical social services. I just realized, how can some of our government officials afford to buy luxurious vehicles when there are thousands of patients who need a thousand from their millions?
     I salute this certain Chinese community who goes to PGH everyday donating medicines to the unfortunate patients. Imagine a peso from a thousand of people can help save a life. I think it's about time for us to give back. Just imagine how lucky you are not to experience this kind of struggle this people are battling with, everyday..

Life is a gamble

Have you experienced moving to a place without the world you grew up? This is it. Here I am, starting my checklist, making sure not to leave anything important. It took us 2 years to finally decide to move to a place where we can live a much more simple life. Clothes, kitchen wares, bedroom wares, what else?  I left my work to be with my husband; to complete the family.  I am now trying this WAHM thing. Well, I just really hope that this will work out. If this idea is going to be a total flap, I’m afraid I have to get a job in a hotel or restaurant, or most likely with a bank. 

 Whew! I’m afraid that I’ll be living away from my family, my family who I lived with for 25 years. How can I survive this? I considered tons of concerns before I finally said yes. Just the thought of moving away from my family, it’s giving me a creep. Weeks of being sleepless, thinking what’s going to happen to us. I’m afraid of many things, especially the fact that I could not speak the language in that place very well. I’m afraid that the native from that place will laugh at me without me knowing it. It’s driving me insane to be away from my family especially now that my father has to go through a bypass operation. But I have to make a decision, and it has to be firm.  I chose my family, my husband and my daughter.

Oh well, it’s all about taking chances. How will I know if we will not give it a try? I always put in my mind that we can always go home if we cannot survive the life we chose. But we shouldn’t.  We have to be firm with this. Life is like a game of playing cards. Sometimes, you thought you got the best suit and the strongest pair, but you don’t. It’s all a matter of strategy. It’s a gamble that we have to win.

Birthday Hurricane

Everyone's excited with my nephew's 1st birthday. It was lunch time when almost everyone gathered in our home. As usual, it has always been a riot when everyone's around. It was a rainy day that's why we had a hard time figuring out how can everyone fit in into 2 cars.. Hmm, when I say everyone, that counts 30 heads. A little bit many for a family of four. Everyone's rushing. It's Saturday, heavy traffic was anticipated. I was with the birthday celebrant, Denzel. We took Cavitex to reach Jollibee-Bluewave before 4pm. As the rain went harder, we all thought that the number of guests will be reduced greatly. Walah! When we arrived at Jollibee, almost 4 tables were already occupied. Time to time, guests arrived. It was my first time to experience a birthday with a standing ovation, haha. All of the guests were bumping into one another to get to another table. The foods were delayed, but it doesn't matter. Everyone participated in the games, children and the "child-like mothers." It was the craziest & happiest children's party I've been to.
How I wish I had my own children's party memory. Unfortunately, I didn't have. Not even when I turned 7 nor 18. That's the reason why I'm giving it all to my daughter, Keyshia. I wouldn't want her not to have a memory of her own children's party.
Oh well, the party was such a blast. Now, I'm preppin' up for Keyshia's party. Hope it's gonna be a blast, too.

-= mi love =-

My love story is a classic that stands the test of time. There’s only one object of my affection, and he’s not just a husband, but a best friend too. I’m lucky to have found my soul mate so young. I’m with him because he’s the best guy for me–not just because I feel comfortable when he’s around.
Me & my husband have been together for so long people say our names like they’re one word. When we have lunch together, I finish his sentences and he finishes my sandwich =) He fits my fantasy of the ideal guy, I can’t picture someone better off for me out there somewhere.
The reason I’m staying with this guy is because I want this man and not more about wanting a husband.
I don’t need to go out with a million guys just to know how great mine is =)